Regret

Regret is a word I have erased from my dictionary, much like ‘divorce’ (though im not married but then again, thats another post). If I feel I am THIS close to regretting something I give much thought and try to see the lesson behind it. However, there is only ONE regret that I have in life: swimming.

I am not a strong swimmer, I can save myself from drowning, but I will never win a race in the water. 
When I was young, every year we will get to have vacations at an amazing beach resort in Honduras. It had a huge pool and the beach at a walking distance from our “cabana”. I would go and get in the water but never into the deep. Even as a child I had a great imagination and I couldnt help but imagine all the monsters that were waiting for me at the bottom of that dark blue ocean floor. I took some swimming lessons one summer, I got good at it and surprisingly I liked how refreshing it felt to be in the water but I never kept up because my mind would always go back to my imagination and monsters as a child.
Now, I still fight the thought of being in a dirty water with God-knows what else lurking underneath but in the end, I jump right into it. But I am still a terrible swimmer.

In 2008 I made a decision not to have regrets because of my fears and you know what? I made many mistakes after that decision but I dont have regrets. Only lessons learn.

Forgive but Don’t Forget

We all have grown up in a society that believes that we should “forgive and forget”. It sounds very logical – forgive the person, and forget what he/she has done to you. Because, society argues, if you remember you will become bitter and have not truly forgiven that person.

A few days ago, Paulo Coelho twittered a different advice: FORGIVE AND DON’T FORGET. His reasoning was that when you forgive you change your mindset and if you forget you lose the lesson of that moment. I agree with him.

In my life Ive had to forgive a lot of people. Some I had forgiven because “it’s the right thing to do” and others I have forgiven because Ive really wanted to. When I forgive because I want to, I make a conscious decision to let go of the hurt, focus on healing and mending any broken communication/relationship with the other person. If I forget all that how can I grow as a person?

Let your forgiveness be a conscious decision and don’t forget to learn the lesson that comes with it.  Your soul will be at peace.

She laughs with confidence

One day at my gym I was using the elliptical and was extremely focus on workout but the girl next to me was laughing out loud. I look at her and she seemed to be having such a good time laughing. Then I look around to see what she was laughing at and saw that she was watching something funny at the TV.  You know what my first thought was? I thought to myself “wow, if I could only feel comfortable enough to laugh like she does.”

SELF ESTEEM.

We all have it. Yet, we constantly struggle to balance it out.  

Our worst years with our self esteem are when we become teenagers. As a kid I had a good head on my shoulders but when I became a teenager I lost my focus and almost lost all my self esteem along with it. Luckily I had a great support system through my family and I met the right people at the right time and got back on track. I am not going to give you a list of things to do to get a good self esteem. Instead I am just going to tell you this:

It does not matter whether your hairstyle is the same as all the girls in your class or if you go to an ivy college. It does not matter what car you drive, the clothes you wear and how thin you are.
What matters is that you were created unique with traits and skills that are only yours. You are the only one that decides the worth that you will have not material things or accomplishments. It starts from within. If you think you are not enough with what you have, you will never be enough with more.

My self esteem grew when I began to respect myself. The irony of it all, now that I have less things I am more happy and confident. It starts within us.

Role Playing

“Hello 2010, I’ve been waiting for you”
That was my greeting to the New Year.
 
I have so many plans, adventures, ideas, and memories to make for this New Year that I was getting a bit impatient on the last days of 2009.  Now that this New Year is here I began to work on all my big dreams. Boy was I overwhelmed!
My mind was racing here and there. I would start a project but then remember I needed to be doing something else. In only two weeks it was beginning to look like a vicious cycle of starting but not finishing.

However, yesterday, my computer didn’t want to cooperate so I had a minute to spare and think. I realized that I wasn’t getting anything done. My mind was overworked but there was no work to show. So something that I learn when I was 14 came to mind: CHOOSE YOUR ROLES.

Just like a play, you need to define the many roles you play each day: father, mother, child, student, boss, employee, friend, partner, pastor, president, author, volunteer, etc.

I learn that I had three roles that I hadn’t thought of but were very important for this year. So I wrote them down and set goals for each month. Then I assigned different tasks, which will help me achieve those goals, for each week of the month. All that I can say is “WHEW”. Now I see the picture clearer. Now I know when I need to ask for help and when I can do things on my own and how to do them.

Trust me, this method works. It will help you accomplish your dreams.
Role playing. It’s like being in an amazing story.

Welcome to 2010

STOP

 

This weekend I babysat four [adorable] kids.Ages 5-11. The oldest had asked the two youngest to help them with something but they didn’t want to. As I was watching this scene unfold I asked them “guys, whats stopping you from obeying your sister?”. Later that night I ponder on that question but I made it my own “What is stopping me from ..?”

Sometimes I look at my life and wonder why I am not doing more. It’s kinda strange because I KNOW that I am doing alot but at the same time I KNOW I can do so much more. So that question made me be very honest with myself. Am I not being diligent? Wise? Or is it that I am lazy? Fearful? 

We all know our capabilities and limits. I once heard someone said “You do the best that you can do and when you reach your limit that’s when God starts acting”. I like the message of that — Give it your all. That night I answered what was stopping me. The answer was like a cold shower in the morning but it woke me up to ACT. 

STOP for a second.
Ask yourself “WHAT IS STOPPING ME FROM GOING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?”

 My wish is that NO MATTER WHAT … your life will be lived to the fullest.

The effects of doing right

RESPECT: The state of being regarded with honor or esteem

I am a human being just like you and I have emotions. I am currently single and with that [sometimes] I tend to be too friendly with the opposite sex. Except with one person. Him, I consider, to be very handsome and nice. But what makes this friendship different is that I have TREMENDOUS respect for him. Funny thing is, he has done nothing out of the ordinary to gain that respect but rather, is the family that he has that makes me not want to cross a boundary that will disrespect his parents or siblings.

 If a young child is not taught by his parents how to obey as a teenager, he won’t be able to know how to respect his authorities. So as this teen grows older it will be difficult for him to choose to do right because he is not used to doing that. In the end, this man may end up alone and without respect of the people around him.

So what does this have to do with the guy that I think is awesome? Well, his parents are great parents. not perfect, but they have instructed him in the right way to go. Consequence of that, they have a son who is a good man and brings honor to them. And in the end, because I have seen how they have chosen to always do right I just feel that I can’t play games with him. I respect his parents and I respect him.

When we do right, people watch.
When we continue to do right, people will trust us.
When we persevere on doing right, people will respect us.

Please, if you havent done what is right NOW is the time to change!
“A good name is more desirable than great riches; 
       to be respected is better than silver or gold.” Proverbs 22:1 

Putting Together the World

There was once a man reading a newspaper and his son was next to him. The father was busy reading news about the world, the son wanted the father’s attention. After much pestering, the father tore a piece of the newspaper with the world on it. Cutting it into pieces he gave it to the son so he can put together the puzzle. Not much time had passed when the son said, ‘Dadddy, look, I finished!” Surprised at how quick his son had put together the puzzle the father asked,’Has your mother been teaching you geography?’ 
‘no, i dont even know what that is but i found out that on the back of the page was an image of a man. so I put the man back together and found out that I put the world back together too.”

I am working hard on putting “together” that woman in me. Once I am done, I know I have put together a world. 
How’s your world doing .. fallen apart into pieces or is it whole?

inner self

I am in a Starbucks and I see people come and go. Some are by themselves, others are on the phone. A grandma is on my back with her 4 grandkids and another woman is in front of me with her child.  A young man is having a late lunch and one girl was waiting for her friend to pick her up and just left.  All the women appear to be flawless – from the grandmother to the girl that just left. They have their hair done, nice nails, trendy jewelry, and really nice purses. The young man is dressed with a simple white t shirt, blue cargo shirts and sandals, he is playing with his PSP. I forgot to mention, this Starbucks is inside of Target and on my right side people are coming in and out like crazy. Some leave with lots of bags others with just one but nonetheless, an item has been bought. I ask myself, do they NEED that item, or they just want to have a different color of shoes or a new shirt to wear for the weekend?

 

I have experience this myself too many times. I NEEDED (or thought i did) the latest shoes, the amazing handbag or the fabulous dress. I NEEDED to wear something new on the weekend – repeat an outfit? Not in a million years!!! But today I see the meaningless in all that. I have two closets full of clothes and lots of shoes. I really dont need half of what I got. I dont want to be accepted by the clothes that I wear but by how i carry myself. Even if I wear the latest marc jacobs shoes or that bcbg dress people will still see more of my character than what i have on. 

 

I was once with a friend and i had mentioned that i had decided to put up my hair nicely because i wanted to look like a lady. he looked at me and said “you are a lady”. He made me realize that I cute hairstyle wont make me a lady. My perspective was changed. A true lady will come from within, just like a true gentleman. Instead of wasting our time in trying to look flawless focus on your inner self.

 

(hint: saying to a man “hey bro, shut up” is not ladylike).

Timeless Message

There’s a timeless feeling when a loved one has passed away. You see their lives flash before your very own eyes and no longer are they aging or changing moods, but they are frozen in a timeless memory. They are who you choose to remember them by.

The world is mourning Michael Jackson. I saw the Memorial Service today – it was touching, I must say. I cried when his daughter began to cry. But I didnt know the man nor he had any effect on me with his music. My heart goes out to his family – just that, FAMILY. And while I am talking about family, a few weeks ago something painful happened in our family. My beloved and wonderful uncle passed away.

In my mind, he is timeless. 
He was the first one to ever taught about generosity. When I was around 7 years old I was spending vacations with my sister at my grandparents’ home. My uncle had gone away on a business trip to Brazil and when he came back he brought gifts for his children. I never, ever, expected anything but along with those gifts there were two small ones – one for my sister and another one for me. He was the first person to give me something without a reason. Thats how he loved .. through his generosity. I still remember the feeling it brought and I’ll never forget it. My uncle showed me the healing power of generosity and the unity it brings to those who give without a reason or expecting something in return.

The world mourns an icon they only met through music, but my heart carries a timeless message shared by my uncle: GIVE WITHOUT ASKING ANYTHING IN RETURN.

Tio, I love you and I will see you in Heaven.
But while I am here on earth, your spirit will lived on through my generosity.
Thank you for making me feel special on that day.

Investing Wisely

A book I was reading said that to be a positive and effective influence you need to concentrate and invest on those that respond to you. At first it sounded mean – I thought to myself, ‘but what about those that are not responding, people wont ever invest on them?’ Like I do with any new information, I take time to ponder and process it in my mind. Then it made sense… I am just one person, I cant stretch myself to please everyone. So if someone is responding I should continue investing in that friendship. It will benefit the both of us. 

 

Now, my next question was – How do I know who am I supposed to invest in? The answer is quite simple. For a season of your life invest in those you think are worth investing, then when you come across a milestone in your life see who is happy for you, see who is celebrating you — those are your friends. They are the ones worth investing.

 

What to do with the rest? NEVER, EVER, stop loving or serving them. But know that they dont belong in your journey. Maybe your paths will cross again, maybe not. But to make the most out of this great adventure invest in those that matter and those that care for you. Your life will be enriched and you will enrich others.